What The Oscars Made Me Think About Success
February 27th, 2007 by JaneThe way football fans rev up for the Super Bowl, our family looks forward to Oscar night. The whole day is planned around the event, with cookies baking, and homework completed before we gather around the television. It gets our adrenalin pumping as we identify with the actors who wait with a mix of poise and vulnerability. There are moments when we actually find ourselves thinking that we are the actors ourselves: we are winners; we have come so far, and it is our night!
The Barbara Walters Special is foreplay for the evening, allowing us intimacy with a select few. Before her interview, who knew that Helen Mirren was disarming, humble, and even spunky? We decided then and there that she had to win, even though before the interview we were routing for Meryl Streep. (Aren’t we fickle?) And, for me, if Eddie Murphy didn’t walk away with gold in hand it would be my own personal defeat. Then there was Ellen, the boy-woman telling the world of the betrayal that haunted her childhood. We were all in love with her, routing for the show’s success to make up for the horrors of her past.
The festivities unfold more quickly than ever before, as technology allows us to fast-forward through the commercials. We have high moments where we feel the thrill of success as our favorites march to the podium; and Ellen’s authenticity and innocent style of humor refreshes us at just the right times. There are also moments throughout the night when we feel betrayed, like when Eddie did not get to claim what I know should be his. One of the most successful actors of all time and on this night, I, and countless others, feel sorry for him as we go to bed near 1:00 in the morning.
It wasn’t clear why I awakened in a funky mood. At first, I thought it was because five hours of sleep was too little, but as I got into a conversation with my husband and sister, it became clear that the pleasure of the previous night had a real downside. We discovered that we were collectively gloomy, and concluded that there was something enraging and maybe even humiliating about award shows. Gathering a group of hugely respected, accomplished people before the entire television world, and publicly announcing the “best” has a very dark side because if you are not awarded the best, then what does that mean? Who has the correct opinion about what defines the best anyway, and can talent really be measured? We all know it is entirely subjective, and actually rather meaningless when you really think about it, but it is so difficult not to get caught up in the whirlwind of the celebrity night.
Talking over tea the next morning, we spoke of our own lives in relation to our creative aspirations. Soon we were heating up about the impact that positive attitude has or doesn’t have on the level of success that one achieves in the world of the arts. One minute we were singing the praises of optimism, convincing ourselves that positive thinking, and faith are key ingredients to mastering the challenges of a hugely competitive field. Then, we did a total about face: spewing speeches about how it is all about focus, drive, talent, discipline and connections. The excitement of Oscar night, with Ellen in the foreground creating a playful atmosphere, seemed like a long time ago. It was getting late and we had to begin our day.
We finally realized that the real success is in doing the work, at any level and with a range of attitudes. (Of course positive is preferable.) And we concluded that the work is the work, whether it is seen by the whole world - as it is for Helen and Ellen and Eddie - or only by just a few. Being awarded is a terrific thrill, but the act of doing the work is where the reward lies.
